My Journey – From Self-Critical to Self-Confident Part 2

You know, being on a journey is an interesting thing.

There are ups and downs, steps forward and steps backward.

But in the end, it becomes clearer why each step is important. They test you, show you where your weaknesses are, and make you stronger. I appreciate these steps much more at the end looking back, of course, but I truly realize that each one is an important piece to the puzzle.

It was October 2012 when I made the decision to give control over to God to help me be less critical about my body.

For a year I tried so hard to stop thinking about myself and instead focus on what was important in life: my kids, my husband, my relationship with Him. And things started coming around for me. I wasn’t nearly as critical as I was before, but I still wasn’t confident in my body.

And in the summer of 2013, it became crystal clear that even though I wasn’t beating myself up like I used to, I still had issues.

Summer equals bathing suits. I would never entertain the thought of owning a bathing suit that didn’t have a skirt bottom.

“Would you like to try a bikini bottom?” one innocent saleslady asked me.

Get. Outta. Here.

“Absolutely not!” I emphasized, only to feel awful when I saw her eyes widen from my reaction. The poor lady had no idea what she was up against.

Eventually, I found a suit that I thought was pretty cute. It was royal blue and had white ruffles around the edges, and of course, a swim skirt. I felt girly in it, but I still found myself walking around the pool at a snail’s pace so my legs wouldn’t jiggle as much.

“I still have a long way to go, God,” I prayed. “Help me love my body.”

And you know what? God showed up. It was definitely on His timing, but He gave me an answer.

It was almost a year to the day that I prayed that first prayer that I got my answer, an answer that felt kind of out of the blue at the time, but looking back on it now I know it was all planned out for me.

In September 2013, a mom from my son’s first grade class starting talking with me about a workout program called Focus T25 and a super nutrient dense shake called Shakeology.

She shared her own story with me and it sounded just like mine. She went to the gym, didn’t get the results she was looking for, but she wanted to lose the same amount of weight as I did.

That’s TOTALLY me, I thought.

And then she showed me her results pictures after completing a similar program along with drinking Shakeology, and I thought, “Oh my gosh! I want that!”

I didn’t really know her that well, but I was intrigued to find out exactly what she did and how she did it. She was so nice to invite me over to try a workout at her house, and since I’m always game to try new things, especially when it involved working out, I cleared my schedule and headed over.

Can I tell you that I was giddy with excitement from the very first minute? The program was challenging, but I am used to challenging myself. I crave it. I love trying new things, being adventurous, and seeing what I’m capable of.

When the 25 minutes was up, I was dripping with sweat, my face was beet red, but I was beaming inside.

And if that wasn’t enough, she let me try chocolate Shakeology.  Now, I don’t know about you, but if it was possible I could quite possibly exist on chocolate alone. Ask me to try something chocolate?  Uh, yes please!  I wasn’t expecting much, thinking Shakeology was just another trend, but right off the bat I was in love.  She made me a combination that tasted like I was like drinking a Reese’s cup.  You heard that right!  My favorite candy bar was swirling around in my mouth, but it was GOOD for me.

I realized this was way different than anything I had ever investigated before after looking at the label.  She told me it can help me lose weight (I need that), gain energy (that too), stop cravings sweets (whuuut?? is that possible?), and help my digestion?  Holy smokes!  I left her house that day thinking, “I’m going to be a new woman by Christmas.”

results

Pictures from week 0, week 10, and week 21.

I am so happy I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried the workout and Shakeology.

By following through, completing the 10-week program, continuing it for 11 more weeks, and drinking Shakeology daily, my body changed in ways I never thought possible.  But most importantly, the voice that used to degrade me decided to shut up. It has been replaced with a voice that is confident, happy, and proud.

So what did I learn from my year of giving up control?

Sometimes taking a leap of faith, praying without ceasing, and not having control is exactly what God wants from us.  If we let go of our own agendas, He has room to step in and transform us.  He transformed my mind and body in a way I never imagined was possible.  But where He was leading me next and how my life was about to change even further was not a part of my plan at all.

Continue to read part 3 HERE.

If you’d like to talk more about what I did to get my results, please contact me!  I’m happy to help you on your journey!

4 thoughts on “My Journey – From Self-Critical to Self-Confident Part 2

  1. Pingback: My Journey – From Self-Critical to Self-Confident Part 1 | Finding Freedom

  2. Pingback: My Journey – From Self-Critical to Self-Confident Part 1 | Amy Jordan Fitness

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